Rely on My strength,
because the human efforts level is not enough.

haha just woke up after a 4hour sleep
after 20 hours of overnight studying at airport
with qianqian <3 and angzhilin aunty!
haha using qq's "cttm (cui to the max!)"
haha lousy both of them slept like so long at the airport
i wanted to sleep and go toilet
but had to look after the things -.-
but quite productive i guess
haha
did like a lot of history
and kpo-ed a lot of qq's maths and chem
hahahhahahahahahhahaa
i always seem to be more interested in what others are studying
rather than what i'm studying haha
yupp i think T3 kopitiam has our butt prints on the seat
hahaha seriously the longest i've ever studied in one shot haha
had a good laugh at like so many things
angzhilin can you stop hijacking everyone's phone and tweet -.-
and seriously, if you wanna have a good laugh
go look at angzhilin's ezlink card HAHA
me and qianqian laugh like..... haha
only my ezlink card was like normal looking haha
created great memories at the airport
first time i seriously studied with angzhilin
the first of many firsts
love qq and zl ttm!

this week's gonna be an exciting week!
planned study outings like every single day
haha I LOVE STUDYING!

it's amazing how, sometimes
your friend will just know when you're not feeling right
even when you're actively trying very hard to act okay
true friendship is at that level (:

it all depends on the company (:

that's not just her burden,
but yours too
as the only two,
you are My hands and feet
I sent you out into the world
so that you can bring the world to Me
there's a reason for everything
I drew both of you closer for a higher purpose
it wasn't coincidental that the tshirt shop was closed
for so many times you both went
it wasn't accidental that you both had to make so many trips to make one shirt
it all happened for a greater calling
don't think you can't
because you can
whatever I put you through,
I'll bring you through.

was looking through my fb photos
it suddenly struck me that it has been so long
since i've seen my secondary school friends
too long in fact
samantha meiyan ruiting chengnee chenyun yanni
brought back many memories
all the joking around in class
bitching about our teachers
talking about random stuff
talking about our dreams
it suddenly dawned on me,
what exactly is the exact definition of friendship?
sure, when you're in the same school
you see each other everyday
it seems like you're gonna see each other for the rest of eternity
but when you enter into a new school
you have new friends
will you make the effort to arrange for outings
to just meet up and catch up with one another
i always feel it was very weird to be always asking people out
but if i dont do that
we'll never meet each other
but sometimes it gets really tired to be the one organising and arranging
but what's the extent to which you'll go for your friends?
i dont know if i'll still do this forever
but just to say,
i really miss you guys

if life throws you problems after problems,
persevere on and a breakthrough will come.

if friendships undergo trials,
if family ties are strained,
do not complain and ask God why these things happen;
they happen for a reason and for a higher purpose.

if it seems that your prayers never get answered,
if it seems like God is not there,
remember that God is there,
and He will always be.

if you ever feel tired and weary from standing by your faith and values,
this is when you need even more faith,
and trust in God,
that no matter what God puts you through,
He will also give you the ability to overcome it,
and you will be able to stand at the end.

if you fall into the devil's temptation,
ask God for forgiveness,
because God is fair and just,
He will forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness,
and after that, do something to correct it.

if persecutions come,
and your faith wavers just that little bit,.
remember,
that the world persecuted Him before it persecuted you.

if you ever think that it's only you against the world,
think harder and think again,
God is always standing beside you,
fighting with you.

if you think your life sucks,
just think of Job,
after all he's gone through, he had never once cursed God;
have what you've been through even worse than his,
that it warrants you to blame God?

today, i am officially 18 years and 1 day old (:
yesterday was a blast
i was so tired i went to sleep at 11pm
HAHA qianqian and ryan were like SO EARLY?!
(ps: in the end, qianqian fell asleep even earlier than me and didnt reply me!)

anyway my great 18th birthday began right at 12am
when i received like tons of birthday wishes
and qianqian and weiyin showed up at my door
with a cheesecake(which i'm gonna eat later) and my present
it was seriously a great surprise
nobody has done that before
(ps: my old friends are...tsk tsk! HAHA jkjk)
yeah but i really appreciated it
and my dad was thinking they were mad and didnt need to sleep
yeah and my first birthday present was a huge DOMO-KUN from TQQ!
she refuses to admit that domo is our son HAHA
but it was really a great surprise and i really heart D5 a lot!

then received many wishes in school too
and A202 also celebrated my birthday for me!
got my havaianas! (the one i coveted for so long!)
and a bunch of pretty flowers from stephanie (:
and a blueberry cheescake from Bakerzin
(ps: my mum told me got 50% yesterday, no wonder you all bought from there right! haha)
yupp and my face got smeared with the cake
and i actually took photos with that face!
how unglam >.<

haha then after hanging around in school for a while
made my way down for CG
QQ was supposed to wait for me at tampines
but she suddenly appeared at pasir ris
haha she's so sweet :D
yupp CG was so powerful!
could really feel a strong Presence
it was awesome
my birthday CG rocked! (:

after that rushed down to taka for dinner with my family
had steamboat at cocoa
it was seriously expensive -.-
though the food was nice,
the variety was kinda limited
but nonetheless, had a great time with my family (:
i swear i was overloading with prawns
(ps: their supposed "tiger prawns" were the size of a shrimp -.-)
yupp but the chili sauce was niceee!
haha so out of the point

yupp so when i went home
i immediately went to sleep after i bathed
haha super tired after such an eventful day
thankfully it was a string of good events
i guess the only bad event was stupid econs paper
even maths consultation was good
haha nevermind

aside from all these stuff
it was also the first time when i had to reply so many comments on my FB wall!
not to mention an email and sms spam
oh and i cant believe Pst Jamaal actually wished me happy birthday!
all he knew about me was that i was from HOGC
he most probably havent even seen me yet
it really proves how Pastors really care for their members
from their church and otherwise
i could really feel the love from everyone
it was my first birthday in HOGC
and it was definitely so different from those without HOGC
i'm so glad God arranged to put me there (:
really psyched to spend the rest of my birthdays there
thanks everyone (:

- from an 18-year-old-eloise :D
who's gonna eat her cheescake now (:

jacqueslinzhongyan is seriously so amazing
he's a true miracle
look at what he said

"disbelief is a belief in itself! we all have a great gift, and that's to choose what we want to believe in. i think every one of us seek God in our own different ways. you say Christians aren't locked up, but in your heart they already are! you've boxed them up, sealed them in and labelled them 'crazy'.

what do' crazy' people do? some walk around giggling and laughing and speaking to themselves. some believe they belong to an ancient race of spider people. yet what is so crazy about them, that makes us call them 'crazy'? just because they believe in something 99% of the world doesn't warrants them a permanent stay in the asylum? crazy is an idea humans have created. its part of knowledge, a knowledge humans have discovered and amassed over the centuries. we judge them based on this knowledge, and the verdict names them 'crazy'.

i'm not trying to defend the asylum patients here. you've drawn a parallel between the 'crazies' and Christians: that we believe in something that there's no proof exists. this is true, with perhaps the only difference being that WE KNOW there is no proof God exists. but doesn't the same go for everything else? what can we prove exists, other than ourselves? "cogito ergo sum." for all i know, i might be living in a dream i've yet to wake up from. yet we believe everything exists, because they make us see, feel, hear, smell, taste. we cant prove it exists, but we KNOW it does. it probably sounds like a naive argument.. but it's because we cling on so dearly to knowledge that we begin to fear anything more than it. some see the unknown with fear, some with doubt, some with faith.... Read More

it's like you said. "believe in anything". i have chosen to believe in God, and i have seen, felt, heard, smelt and tasted Him. it might seem to you like a coincidence how people pray for things and their prayers get answered.. but we don't have to believe in music to know its music, right? i don't know what you believe in.. and i don't want to come across as trying to preach here. you know what, i don't even know you hahaha. it's just that i used to think like you. i disbelieved.. or rather, i believed in knowledge. yet as how ursula k le guin wrote, all knowledge is partial. there is no absolute knowledge, and thus knowledge amounts to nothing. in this way, i believed in nothing. when one believe in nothing, he seeks nothing, and finds nothing. now, i believe in God. i sought God, and i found God, who amounts to everything. the 'crazies' believe in their ancient spider race, sought their ancient spider race, and i have no idea what they found.

i'm not criticizing your beliefs/disbeliefs, nor am i trying to sell mine to you. i don't even know why i typed this. but just so that my comment can end nicely.. one of the gifts we have as humans is the power to choose what we want to believe in, like i said. but perhaps there is a greater gift, which we've given the name 'faith'. faith allows us to see things greater than what we know. perhaps it's time you had a little faith. go crazy with faith, because the whole world's already crazy anyway!"

as we all are,
we're so proud of you JUGGY! (:

To Eloise:
"You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has to come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about it."

oh yes i do know what this is talking about
but since when was everything so easy
since when was the world in black and white
more often than not,
the grey areas overwhelm.



prelim papers gotten back so far:
GP Paper 1
Chem
SEA History
Maths Paper 1

papers getting back tomorrow:
International History
GP Paper 2 (hopefully)

papers getting back on friday (but i'm not going to school!):
Maths Paper 2

Papers getting back next week:
Econs

what can i say.
study man eloise, STUDY
the only major exam before A's
and i screwed up again
wow.

( HOGC F1 Hangout 260909 + A202 Seoul Garden! )

even if you say a million sorry's
there's no way things can be amended.

tomorrow's the start of prelims.
wow.
spell dead: ELOISE.
not that i dont know it's all my fault.
please don't start scolding me.

to a certain group of people:
会有人让你难过
但也会有人因你的难过而难过
你又为何为第一种人难过呢?
同样的事，
必定会再重复上演吧
愚蠢笨挫的我们
跟对方起冲突
互相伤害对方
可是，
受伤之后
将会让我们变得更温柔，
更坚强，
可以继续向前进

random musings:
如果迷了路，
在感情的森林里迷失的话
告诉我们，
光亮照射之处在哪
在那儿的人有存在的必要，
不是吗？
就算那儿并不是捷径
穿越过感情的森林
很快的就有阳光照射进来
就算迷路也好，
绕远路也罢，
只要能抵达目的地就行